They are Twins … but they are also one of kind :)

     See those two … their connection is amazing to me. I am an only child and when something broke in my house there was no one else to blame but me, when I wanted to play I had no sibling to play with so I played alone, and I was sometimes lonely.
These two have been together since day one.
Devin was born one minute before Ethan and from that point on the race was on to see who did what first and how fast the other can blame his brother for any mischief they make. I see them growing and they grow so fast , I do still remember bringing them home and wondering   " How am I gonna take care of them and Alex ?" and as they say ; the universe showed me a way.
     I look at these pictures and no matter what they are connected and care for each other. Not just in the most obvious ways but on a deeper level. Ethan watches out for Devin at all times and knows his brother well enough to say; " I don't think Devin would like that  "  or " That's Devin's favorite."  Devin is also in tune with Ethan. Devin likes being the "older" brother and reminds Ethan of it and has no problem voicing his concern or opinion about what Ethan is doing.  These guys work together and also fight and argue ; being both strong willed adds to the disagreements.  But - when you look , they are also love each other and need each other.
     We from time to time take each child on his own to enjoy a day with either parent. The funny thing is the whole time all they talk about each other and always end the day the same way; " next time let's bring Devin/Ethan , its more fun" . So - we work very hard to have variety so that what they do together is acceptable to both. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't , but they keep each other entertained and definitely need that "brotherly" connection.
     My favorite time is watching them sit together  … they like that the other is near and sharing whatever secret, toy , or laugh. Those are the times I sit back and watch them and realize how special they are to each other and how important their relationship is , no matter what.

  

New things are hard … but it doesn't stop him.

      This summer has been a time for change. For most that would mean something exciting or something to look forward to. But for Devin change is hard and being in a new place can be hard. Our trip to Tahoe was a great one and we were there almost 2 weeks, the longest we have been in there in a long time. Devin had some ups and downs but overall he really tried a lot of new things and tried to adapt all he could.
     Tahoe is beautiful and we are blessed to have a cabin to use … that is a true gift. I wanted this trip to be fun and with adventure. Devin was hesitant to go on the trip and once he was there  it took a few days for him to adjust. I mean just so you understand; change and having your everything be different is hard to work through, so it took some time and i watched him like I always do and it was hard to watch sometimes.  I see my son look worried that his things were not where they should be, his surroundings were different, his place to rest was different, and just about everything was new. He asked me a few times; " we are going back home soon right?" I assured him we would go home eventually but it was a vacation and that he needed to try and get comfortable. He looked at me but he looked sacred and unsure.

It's so hard to watch him go through this every time something new happens.  But day 3 it was better and he was distracted with some places we went to visit and he did try to have fun.
But i watched how hard he had to work to sooth himself and how he reverted to techniques that work for him. His repetitive pacing helps him refocus and to relax. He asked for hugs and reassurance more often to be sure we were going home soon and that it was a really a good place.  He wanted to touch lots of things and made sure his personal items were near by. I worry that his coping mechanisms won't work one day, but until then we really need to be comforting to him and help build his confidence about doing and enjoying new situations.

Devin really made an effort to try something new ; swimming in the lake. He was determined to swim; something he has not mastered yet but it didn't make any difference. When we hit the beach he dropped his towel and took off running to jump in. That left his father and the life guard also running to assist him; but he was just fine. He did put on his life vest and then tried it again. His frustration this time was not with his ability to swim but how cold the water was and that he just couldn't be in the water for too long. He would come running out, lips blue and teeth chattering and frustrated that he just couldn't stay in longer.  He sat on my lap and wrapped in a towel he said" Mom I know i can do it , just like Ethan and Alex. " He wants to do  everything his siblings can do , it's just sometimes it takes longer to happen. Again- something that he struggles with but feel ten feet tall and bullet proof when he achieves his own personal goals. It's amazing to see and feel him be happy , proud , and confident.

I think over time each of his milestones will tell me a little more and more… so the adventure truly never ends :)  I consider myself lucky to be on this journey with my son and there is no limit to what he can do. You go Devin and show me how.