Being a woman has allowed me to experience so many things.
I have been in relationships, been in love, been in lust, been hurt, been married, been pregnant, been happy, been sad, been separated, been alone, been depressed, fallen in love again and again, been so many occupations, and been learning every step of the way.
For that I am truly grateful.
The places I have been and the people I have met have always helped me see things from another side and I have learned to appreciate everything in my life.
My favorite things in life are my family, my friends, and all the adventures I have had and will have !
But this time my adventure is close to my heart ... it is learning and working with one of my twin sons Devin ; he has high functioning autism.
The day I got the results of his evaluation I cried. It was so hard and I hugged him for a long time.
My heart felt like it broke and I blamed myself a thousand times and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.
Not because he had autism but because I was not sure what to do, where to turn to, what to think, and my mind just spun. But - after that cry ... I promised myself I would never cry again for those reasons.
If Devin can live, learn , and grow with autism then I can love, learn, and grow with him.
It was at that moment I decided that he did not have a disability but a special "ABILITY" to see things in a different way. At times he seems a bit overwhelmed and sensitive, but then I take my time and together we take things slow and work it out. Funny ... taking my time is a luxury, but for Devin it is a necessity. He sees the world in his own way sometimes but that's a good thing. Devin is an amazing teacher.
Perfect example of a lesson by Devin;
Earlier this year Devin's grandmother Pat passed away from lung cancer and it was such a sad time.
Christmas rolled along and we were at Grandpa John's house and Devin, Ethan, and Alexandra were opening presents with family. Grandpa John was sitting on the couch and he was watching the children and looked a little sad. Devin walked over and looked at John and asked; " Do you miss Grandma?" out of the blue ! John for a moment looked shocked and lost; but like always he composed himself and answered; " Yes Devin I miss Grandma." Devin looked at him in the face and said without a beat; " I miss her too. I miss her hugs too. She is here you know, all around us. " and with that response Devin went back to his toys.
Again it wasn't until a month later that John told me about this and he said; " I wasn't sure what to say but he was ready and made me smile. Devin could tell I needed a good word and he gave me what I needed. "
People think that children with autism don't know how to relate or feel things as deeply or empathize ..... how wrong they are. Devin has the ability to feel things at a deeper level but he just doesn't let it over shadow everything he does, thinks, or feels. He has his moments when he gets overwhelmed but he is never lost. He finds a way and goes with it.
He misses his Grandma Pat and likes talking about her. He does think about her hugs and that her ice cream desserts were the best.
Devin will have those memories in his mind and heart forever.
Being this my first blog here is what Devin taught me: to cherish all my memories and feel what you need to feel and embrace it. Pretty good for a 7 years old :)
I will post more are time goes on and the adventures happen ... so many and so little time to type them all. But I am gonna try !
HUGS
Sil
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